Love Hurts
by V.Johnes
Summary: Harry gets hit by a darklighter's arrow and Macy has to face her feelings which she suppressed for so long in order to save him.


Macy woke up, she felt a little disoriented, she's been having some very weird dreams lately but the moment she wakes up she can't remember a thing that happens in them, and she's just left with the feeling of unease paralyzing her for a few minutes before she can get up from her bed. She shakes her head and walks to her wardrobe to get ready, she has been in charge of the lab ever since she came back to work after the apocalypse, and she was still not really comfortable with the job, so she was glad that today was her day off, she really didn't want to have to deal with all the papers that would surely await her.

She smiles as she goes down to the kitchen, trying to shake from her head the nagging voice telling her something wasn't right. She walks in expecting to see Harry at the stove, making breakfast; he's been around so often Macy would bet that he had moved back in at some point. She feels a little disappointed when she sees just Maggie standing in front of the sink a mug clutched in her hands a hazy look in her eyes. "Hey Mace!" she says, the smile in her lips failing to reach her eyes, "Have you seen Harry today?"

Macy swallows hard, she tried to ignore what Harry had thought back in May when she read his thoughts, it was November now and she couldn't get his words off of her mind, he had called her beautiful, the most beautiful person he laid eyes on. And the feeling, that intense longing, passion, love he was feeling when he touched her, it was still stuck in her brain. She's been trying to pretend like it never happened, she wanted to give him the clean slate he asked, but she found herself unable to. So she made it her hobby, she would study him, carefully, trying not to get caught.

She would study the way he moved around the kitchen, the way his voice would get a little higher after you get just a little alcohol in him. Small things, little things, her sister's intense look draws her back, "No, I haven't" she says quickly. Busying herself with making a cup of coffee, she never seems to be able to drink tea by herself.

"Huh." She sees Maggie mindlessly swirling the little spoon in her mug, her look is worrying Macy a lot, did something happen that she didn't know? Was she so blindly trying to analyze him that she missed something going on? "What is it Maggie?" she asks, her little sister bites her lower lip; she turns around and places the mug on the counter "He promised he'd make breakfast today." She says, her voice soft, slightly embarrassed to be admitting that she was even thinking over something so mundane. "We've been so busy lately, I feel like we're barely seeing him." Maggie turns her back to Macy, trying to busy herself with whipping down the spotless kitchen counter. "And you know, I miss him."

Something inside Macy is fluttering, she has to admit that things between them have not been the same since last May, and sure they both tried to act as if nothing was different, and sure he was coming around but things were different, her recent 'hobby' of studying him was an example, she wouldn't have to do that before last May, she wouldn't care to do it, her brain wouldn't be looking for the small signs of the graceful way he moves, of the small ways he has made their home his as well.

Not that she wasn't noticing them before, but it was more of an accident, she would stumble upon them somewhere in the middle of having her morning coffee and picking up her coat from the hanger by the door.

"I'm sure he had a reason not come." She says, trying to keep her tone casual, she busies herself with opening the fridge, pretending to look for something, something not there, she admits defeat and closes the door of the fridge, putting on the most sincere smile she could muster. "Probably got caught up."

Maggie nods, a tight smile on her lips "Yeah, yeah, it's just," Macy knows that although Maggie tries not to create much of a fuss Parker's radio silence recently has put her on edge. It was bad enough when he was simply physically away, but recently he had stopped responding to texts and calls, making him mentally and emotionally away as well, and as much as Maggie tries to deny it, it was hurting her and making her be even more attached to the one man in their lives who had not pulled a disappearance act yet. "It's not like Harry at all." She admits looking down. Macy doesn't know what to say, she has to admit that Maggie was right, this was the farthest from what Harry would ever do. She walks to her sister and puts a hand on her shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze "I'm sure he's alright Maggie, you can force him to cook dinner in return" Maggie smiles, it seems to be a little more relaxed, more genuine than the last time. "I'll be in the attic, I need to check some things over in the Book of Shadows." Macy says, Maggie smiles "Sure."

Macy turned around, her mug clutched in her hands, "Mace!" her sister's voice stops her just as she was ready to turn to the corridor and disappear from view, she turns around, "Let me know if you hear from him, I have a bad feeling." Maggie says, Macy takes a closer look at her little sister, her body was stiff, she was biting her lip hard, so hard Macy was surprised she hadn't broken the skin. "Sure." She says.

Macy walked upstairs as quickly as her feet would carry her, Maggie's words rang in her ears, 'A bad feeling' what could that mean?

She shuts the book, she was trying to read about warlocks, but her mind kept going back to what Maggie said, and to Harry, Harry who seemed to be getting in way over his head, Harry who seemed to be working himself to the ground to help them, but who still appeared in their kitchen, their home, their lives, with a smile on his face. She turned her back to the book and walked to the circular window, she has such a weird relationship with this specific spot of the house, it held some of her best moments in this house, moments of comfortable silence, sitting there with Harry, him just close enough that she can feel his warmth, moments where she felt at peace, but then on the other hand it also held one of the worse moments of her life in general, she had seen her mother fall to her death from this window, not once but many times, once it was her fault.

A loud thump takes her attention away she turns around her neck straining from the speed, there's a huddled figure on the floor, an oddly familiar one. "Harry!" she sobs, her feet carry her quickly to his side, she drops to her knees, the hard wood is painful but she doesn't care, it's like she tuned everything out, her eyes are roaming his body trying to see what's wrong, it doesn't take her long, a thin, shiny silver arrow is stuck under his right collar bone.

He groans and opens his eyes, she can see them clouded, the pain is clear. "Macy." he smiles but it never reaches his eyes, the green irises are filled with pain at the moment, it's overwhelming her, she looks away, "Help!" her voice horror stricken, she reaches for his hand, his palm is sweating but he holds her hand tightly. "Maggie!" she hopes her voice reaches the kitchen, but she's terrified that no matter how loudly she thinks she's screaming no one will hear her, "Mel!" she calls out as loud as she can, she looks at the door hopefully but no one is coming, Macy feels his hand clutching her tightly, she looks down, his eyes are closed but he is still conscious, she looks at his face, his skin seems ashen, it reminds her of how he looked when he came back from Tartarus, his brow is frowned, his eyes clutched shut tightly, she uses her free hand to push back his hair, his forehead feels warm to the touch, "Help!" she screams, her voice ringing in her ears this time, she is not looking up, her eyes are almost glued to Harry, the tears are burning in her eyes, she's fighting with all she has not to let them flow, she hears footsteps, her sisters were running up the stairs to the attic.

"What is it?" Mel calls out when she walks in, Macy doesn't look up but she hears her sister, gasping, a cry comes out of Maggie's lips, her sister, falls to her knees on Harry's other side, her hand gently on his elbow, trying not to move his arm too much, the arrow glistening dangerously under the sunlight streaming in the room through the windows.

"Oh my god, Harry!" Maggie cries, Macy looks up, tears are streaming freely down her little sister's face, she reaches over and gives her arm a squeeze before she goes back to running her fingers through Harry's hair, her other hand still clutching his tightly. Mel leans down, "Let's move him to the couch." She says, Macy looks up, she seems to be put together, but she knows her well enough by now to know the little signs, how her voice is deeper when she speaks, how she avoids eye contact.

Maggie gets up and walks to the couch, Mel helps Macy slowly pick Harry up, her arm wraps tightly around his waist, her mind flashing back when they got him back from Tartarus, Mel was standing on his other side, her arm clutching his elbow, her other hand on his chest, trying to keep him straight, he seemed to be shaking a little at his feet, they walked to the couch as quickly as they could without tumbling down like dominos, Maggie had reached to the dresser behind the couch and pulled out clean sheets, draping them over the couch, Mel and Macy help him out of his suit jacket and lay down, the arrow wobbled a little and Harry groaned, Macy winched, she felt almost like she was shot with it as well, Maggie put a hand on his forehead, "You'll be ok Har." She says, a sweet smile on her lips, Macy looks at her, she knows that she felt the high temperature too, she sees the small terror flashing in her eyes.

"What happened?" Mel asks as she puts his shoes down by the side of the couch and covers his legs with a clean sheet.

"A darklighter," he says, Macy reaches over for his hand again, for a moment wondering why she even let it go in the first place, "They are whitelighters who went rogue, their sole mission in life is to kill whitelighters, so they can corrupt their charges." He says, she notices how his speech is a little slurred, slower than normally, his eyes are heavier, it seems like he's fighting to stay awake, "What do you know about this darklighter?" Mel asks again. Macy is trying to take a better look at the wound, on one hand she is thankful her sister keeps Harry awake, she is terrified that he might not wake up again if he does fall asleep, but o the other hand she knows she needs to take that arrow out, and that is something she would rather do when he's not conscious.

"We need to take the arrow off." She says before he had time to respond, Mel looks at her and nods, Harry looks at the arrow and then to her, "You should be careful it's poisonous." He says, Macy bites her lip, she guessed something was wrong with the arrow, but having her worse case scenario come true is breathtaking.

"Alright." She murmurs to herself, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, she needs to remove the arrow but she can't touch it, she feels her power tickling under her skin, but her emotions are running so high she's almost scared to try, "I'm sorry, it's going to hurt." She tells him softly, before she focuses on the offensive object poking out she flings it across the room with probably more power than needed but doesn't care, "There." She says, Harry smiles back at her for a second, he didn't make a sound through it all, she hopes it means she didn't hurt him, but she knows better. "Let's get your shirt off, I need to get a clean look at the wound." She tells him, Harry seems a little taken aback, his eyes grow in size, but Macy gives him her best strict look.

Maggie and Macy help him sit up slowly, Maggie slides down behind him, while Macy slowly opens the buttons of his waistcoat, "Really Har, we need to have a talk about your obsession with layering." Maggie says, her chin on his left shoulder, Macy smirks biting her lip to hide it and nods to Maggie when she opened all the buttons, Maggie carefully pulls the waistcoat off and passes it on to Mel who carefully folds it and lays it on the coffee table. She carefully but quickly removes his torn and blood stained shirt, looking at the soft light blue material she knows it's wrecked beyond hope. Maggie helps him off of it, and Mel takes it, this time she doesn't bother folding it, she knows it's destroyed too, she carelessly throws it to the side. Macy slowly lifts his undershirt, she notices that the top right part is drenched in blood, it makes her stomach turn, she never had issues with blood before, 'Well you never had to deal with _his_ blood' a small voice in her head tells her.

Harry tries to raise his arm to take the shirt off but he groans, Macy freezes in her spot, her hands on his chest, she can feel his heart beating under her palm. His eyes are closed tightly, he's gasping for breath a little. Macy is worried, she moves her left hand on his neck, keeping her right over his heart. Mel gives Maggie a pair of scissors, "Sorry Harry, we'll have to ruin this shirt." He doesn't respond but Macy can feel the small chuckle fighting its way through his injured body.

Maggie worked quickly, while Macy was holding him up to cut off the shirt, the air in the attic wasn't the warmest, she can see small Goosebumps growing on his skin. Maggie gets up from the spot behind him and Macy helped him down the couch again, "Take it slow" she whispers, he doesn't say anything, his eyes were closed but she could see a large warm smile on his lips.

"What's going on with this darklighter?" Mel asks, Harry opens his eyes, Macy can see the pain he's in, "Is he after us or" Macy looks away, what if he was attacked because of them? She wouldn't be able to live with herself. She moves a first aid kid to her side and puts on the gloves she tries to keep track of the conversation around her, "I don't know, he is after something, or someone" he says. She pokes the skin around the wound it seems to be slightly irritated, infected, turning a sickly greenish color around the edges of the wound.

"We need to get rid of him, fast." Maggie says, she was standing by the armrest, her hands crossed, her lip tightly between her teeth. Harry looks up to her, "I agree, darklighters posses all the powers a Whitelighter has but they also have some other powers, you need to be careful," he looks at all of them, his eyes linger on Macy a little longer, she wonders could he really be thinking that she will leave him alone and go on hunting this darklighter, whoever he was?

"We need to warn Jada, she's back in town," Mel says, "I imagine half Whitelighters are also vulnerable correct?"

"Yes."

"Alright we are going to handle that." Maggie nods, "Ok so Mel and I will go find Jada and we are coming right back and you Mace can you handle the situation here?" Macy looks to Maggie and nods, she's thankful to Maggie right now, "Sure, I got some healing potions ready." She says, a shaky smile on her lips, it felt wrong and unnatural, but she kept it up, she had become a pro at this by this point. "Ok," Maggie mutters, she kneels down by Harry's head, "We'll be back soon Har." She says giving Harry an awkward hug, "See you in a moment Harry."

Macy watches her sisters leave the attic, she clears her throat and gets up, "Let me go get the bottles," she says and turns around, Harry grabs her hand, "There's no need for that Macy." his hand is warm on her skin, his grip weaker, she turns around, there's a new look in his eyes that scares her, he seems to have given up, "What?"

"I'm dying." He says, his voice even, normal, almost like he was asking her what she wanted for breakfast. She pulls her hand out of his grip, he tries to hold her there, but he fails, his hand falling limply by his side again. "Harry what the hell?" she is getting dizzy, his words are ringing in her ears, 'he's dying' he seemed resigned, he seemed to have accepted the end, but she couldn't, she wasn't ready to say goodbye, not now, not yet. She had so many things she wanted to tell him, so many things she wanted to do and live with him. Could she really have been so late? Again.

She bites her lip, hard, she can taste the blood seeping through her teeth, "Macy listen to me," she turns her head away, she doesn't want him to see her tears, it will be as if she admitted defeat and she can't she can't just give up on him, his hand grazes hers, she knows he must be stretching trying to reach her, she reaches over and takes his hand, still looking away "The poison is lethal to whitelighters, only another Whitelighter could heal me, and Jada has not come into her healing powers yet, and to ask her, to do so, so fast and for me," she turns around, Harry is looking away, his eyes stuck on the ceiling, "It's unfair to her."

It hits her, there's only one cure for this, and the only person they know, the only person that had the capacity, hadn't figured it out yet. "No, no, no, no, no," she mutters, she walks closer, kneeling down next to the couch, "There must be another way!" she says determined, Harry kept looking away, she cups his chin moving his head, "Harry, come on!" She tells him, he smiles, his eyes seem to be heavy, but he tries to keep them open, "I am sorry dear." His eyes close, his had falls limply slipping through her grip as she tries to hold on.

"Harry." She grabs his hand tightly but he doesn't respond, "Harry!" she shakes him as hard as she can but he doesn't seem to respond either, she felt a knot in her throat, she hears a groan falling from his lips, and gasps, her fingers move to his neck, she feels his heart beating steadily under her fingers. "Oh he's still alive." She mutters "Oh thank god." She breaths in, the tears in her eyes burning, she feels the turmoil in her brain and she knows somewhere deep down that this has moved from being a simple crush, she tries to remember the last time she felt such panic as she felt the moment she thought he had died, and comes up short. She cups his face "Listen to me, you are not dying on me!" she tells him strongly, he doesn't respond but she knows he can hear her "You are not!" she repeats, it's like she's trying to reassure herself she leans closer, her lips touching the side of his face, close to his ear as she whispers, "We have a talk to finish, and we will!"

Macy closed her eyes tightly, tears streamed down her face scolding hot, she willed herself to look through the book once more, she found the entry on darklighters, everything Harry told her was there, starring her in black ink, she hoped and hoped and hoped that some answer to her issue would be there, something, some insane magical solution would appear, almost like she could will it in existence, but the longer she read the more she could see Harry slipping away from her. He was still sleeping, but she could see the sweat on his brow, the small twitch at his hand every time a bolt of pain induced by the poison traveled through his nerves. She now knew how the poison worked, it was slowly fraying his nerves, burning them from the inside out, and the moment it reached his brain he would die, it would be slow, and painful, as he would slowly lose control of his limps, and then his organs, his lungs would stop working, and he will be gasping for breath for some time before the hypoxia takes place and he faints, it will take him some time to die, either from asphyxia, a heart attack or a stroke, depending what gave way first. She wished she didn't know, as she looked at him sleeping so peacefully.

Macy takes the book and walks to the couch, she puts it slowly on the coffee table, not to make noise, if she keeps him asleep, she knows she will delay the progression a little, the less he uses his powers, his energy in general, the slower the poison will travel through his veins, it will earn him maybe minutes, if she's lucky, but right now even some minutes more might make the difference between life and death. She gives another look at the book, Mel and Maggie have been gone for some time now, they are hopefully on their way back, she prays with Jada in tow, no matter what Harry said, if Jada was there she could try to heal him, she was a Whitelighter after all. Macy looks at the book, Maggie called it a 'Magical Siri' once, maybe she should ask, maybe she overlooked the answer. "How can I heal Harry from a darklighter's poison?" she asks, the book flips a couple pages back to the entry for darklighters, Macy breaths out, she had read this page top to bottom multiple times by now, it was completely useless. She knew full well what was in it, only a Whitelighter could heal a wound infected with a darklighter's poisonous arrow.

"Where the hell can I find a Whitelighter?" Macy says frustrated. The pages of the book start moving on their own, Macy jumps, almost falling from the coffee table, when the pages settle she looks down at the entry and gasps…

She hears her sisters walking up the attic, their shoes tapping the hard wood floors, she looks to Harry who's still sleeping peacefully, she covers him a little more with the blanket, it's cold in the attic, much colder than the rest of the house, given that there's no fireplace, Macy hears them walk in the attic but her eyes are glued to the page in the book, the spell in front of her tantalizing her, tempting her, "We couldn't find Jada." Mel says panic and terror in her voice, Macy could hear it but it still doesn't make her look up, her eyes move to Harry he's sleeping peacefully, but she notices he looks even sicker by each passing moment, "Macy?" Mel says, she puts a hand on her shoulder, Macy finds herself unable to tear her eyes away, "What's going on?" Maggie asks, her voice shaking, Macy closes her eyes and breaths in and out slowly. "Harry's sleeping,"

Mel leaves her spot from behind her and walks closer to the book, "Macy why do you have a power switching spell here?" she asks leaning over the book to read the page it was open on, Macy tears her eyes away from Harry, it takes a great deal of struggle, she is afraid that the next time she looks at him he will be fading through her fingers, like Elder Silver, and Tessa when they died. She looks at Mel; her sister tries to hide the gasp when she sees her bloodshot eyes the dried tears on her cheeks. "Only a Whitelighter can heal him, and since Jada's not here," she says, Mel bites her lip, she sits down on the coffee table next to her taking her hand in hers, it's colder than hers, but the difference in temperature feels so calming to Macy. "Are you sure?" her sister asks.

Macy opens her mouth, she tried to repress what she was feeling for Harry for so long that she didn't know what to say right now. She decides on the truth. "I can't lose him Mel." She says, the look she gives her sister lets her know the truth, Mel nods, she knows what Macy was trying to tell her, Macy is glad her sister understands what she means, this was a relatively new thing for the two of them, sure she managed to build a close relationship with both her sisters since the incident with the source but she hadn't really talked to Mel, not about such close to her heart, personal issues. "I'm going to do it whether you guys agree or not," she says looking from Mel sitting next to her, to Maggie standing by Harry's head, her hand stroking his hair. "But I'd like you have your support."

Maggie looks down to Harry, "He's dying isn't he?" Macy swallows the sob that was forming in her throat and nods, she doesn't want to admit it but she can't hide the truth, he is dying and the longer she waits the closer to death he is.

"Sure." Mel says, "You got our support." Macy bites her lip, "Close your ears or you'll be affected too." She tells them and pulls the book closer to her. She waits till they both have covered their ears, Mel nods, and she looks down, she reaches over and takes Harry's hand in hers, it's warm, it gives her comfort to know that he's still here, still hanging on. _"What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. Let our powers cross the line. I offer up my gift to share, switch our powers through the air."_ She feels the warmth on her chest and head, slowly growing, and then it was gone, almost as fast she felt it.

"Well?" Mel asks lowering her hands from her ears. Macy thought she'd feel something, anything but she feels the same, nothing different, "I don't know." She says, Macy tries to move the book back but she can't, "I don't have telekinesis anymore. It must have worked." She whispers, a small slither of hope blooming, she was successful switching their powers, "Try." Mel tells her, she can see the hope mirroring in her sister's eyes, Maggie is smiling widely, she had taken a step back, both arms wrapped around herself trying to keep herself from shaking, a little unsuccessfully. Macy puts her hands over his wound on his collarbone, expecting the white light to appear but nothing happened. She closes her hands in a fist and opens them again, but nothing happened again. Harry had made it look so easy but right now she is so lost, "Why is it not working?" she asks frustrated, she stands up.

"Triggers," Mel says, she grips her arms to stop her from leaving "Macy triggers remember? You just have to find the trigger!" Macy breathes out, she had forgotten that all their powers were working with different triggers; she was so comfortable with her own, using it as an extension of herself that she had forgotten that there was a time she had to find the triggers. She turns to Maggie, her face lighting up as she smiles widely "I have an idea where Jada might be. Come with." Macy looks at them walking out of the attic, she bites her lip, triggers, all she had to do was find the trigger, she tries to think back to all she knows about whitelighters, and remembers back when Harry came back from Tartarus, this was the only reference she remembers of something going on with his powers, he was distracted divided loyalties between his charges and his son caused him to slowly lose control of his powers.

If it was loss of focus and divided loyalties that caused his powers to cease working the focus and undivided loyalties would. She tried focusing as hard as she could, willing herself to remember that there was nothing in the world she wanted more at the moment than to heal him, he was her single focus, he had her undivided attention and loyalty. She tries again, and again, and again, she tries so many times that she loses count but nothing happens, her hands remain the same, no healing light coming out of them, a terrifying thought passes through her mind, what if her demon side is stopping her from healing him, what if the demon blood coursing through her veins is blocking the Whitelighter powers and she can't heal him. "Come on, come on dammit!" she says again, the tears she fought so hard to keep at bay flowing out, she covers her face with her hands, why were they so useless? Why couldn't they heal him, like his hands had healed her so many times in the past?

She kneels down, the floor cold under her knees, she looks away from Harry, he seems to be wasting away by the minute, from the corner of her eye she can see his skin turning a sickly yellow-ish color, she notices how the edge of the wound was slowly blackening, the skin there slowly dying and she wonders just how long she has. The sobs are quick to follow; soon she can't stop herself shaking as more and more tears stain her cheeks. "Macy," his voice is soft, she can feel his hand on her shoulder but it only makes her sobs grow louder. "Oh Macy don't cry, please don't cry."

He lets her cry it out, his hand steady on her shoulder, she gets herself together as quickly as she can, whipping her tears with the back of her hand, she knows it won't do much to hide the redness in her eyes, nor will it make him forget the sobs he surely heard.

His hand is still on her shoulder, warm, comforting, she shakes her head, she doesn't have time to think of that right now, he was awake, and since what she knew of his powers didn't help her, so all she had to do was ask him, she turns around, he looks at her, there's a smile on his lips, his eyes tired, but she can see him being concerned about her, Macy slides a little closer to his head, she keeps her hands on her lap, trying to calm down, "How do you do it?" she asks, Harry's smile fades a little, she looks away from a moment taking a deep breath, she can't keep breaking down, not right now, not while he needs her focused, "Healing, what's the trigger?" she asks him again, this time her voice much more steady.

"The what?" Harry asks puzzled, there's no trace of his smile on his lips anymore, his mouth is slightly open, his eyes confused, it takes him a moment before he seems to be realizing what Macy did, his eyes slowly opening wide, a vein on his neck fluttering, she came to realize this as a sign of worry, it always happened to him when he was scared or worried. Macy remembers thinking it looked ready to pop back in May, she almost expected it to. "Macy, what did you do?" he asks. She recognizes that tone, she hasn't heard it in some time now but she remembers it. She looks down, "I switched our powers," she hears him gasp when she tells him, "You said only another Whitelighter can heal you so, I switched our powers, but I need the trigger." She says quickly before he has a chance to say anything else, she's terrified he'll ask her to stop, she's terrified he'll ask her to just give him his powers back and leave, so she can't let him, she is not going to let him, "How does it work?" he looks at her shocked, Macy tightens the grip on his hand.

"My powers are bound to my emotions, my loyalty and devotion to my charges is what makes them work." Harry says, Macy breaths out, her hand tightly holding his, she avoids looking at him, almost scared that she will see the same look of having given up.

"Ok, ok I can do this." She mutters to herself, she has to focus, she just has to focus on Harry, she has to make sure he is her priority, that he has her undivided attention. "I can do this." A smile breaks for the first time in her lips, she says it again to herself, she can do it, almost hoping that she can will it in existence.

"Macy." he pulls her hand a little to himself, Macy closes her eyes, "Don't; don't try to stop me, please." She says feeling a knot in her throat, "I don't have much time," he says, she opens her eyes, his looks at her with a small smile on his lips, "And I need to tell you something." She looks at him, she realizes that she has seen the look in his face before and it frightens her, she has seen it right before telling him she had read his thoughts.

"No, not now." She says looking away, she doesn't want to think about it, she knows what he is about to tell her and she doesn't want to hear it, not like this, not while he thinks he's dying, not while she knows he's dying "Whatever it is we have time."

"No we don't" he says smiling sweetly, she hates him right now, how can he be so calm about it, how can he have accepted it so easily, she wants to scream at him, yell and cuss, how dare he, how dare he think he can tell her _that_ and die on her, "It takes whitelighters years to work out their powers." He says, his smile is sweet, she feels as if the fight is leaving her, his hand still warm in hers. She sits down at the coffee table, Harry leans his head to the side to face her. Macy looks at him, and in a sense it's like she's looking at him for the first time. Her hand is still clutching his tightly, she pulls the coffee table closer "It's alright darling; it's going to be alright." She shuts her eyes tightly, she can't look at him right now, not when he looks at her with such love in his eyes.

"No!" She says strongly, her jaw set, she opens her eyes, feeling the fight return to her, she kneels down her hands cup his face, "I am not losing you too!"

He smiles and leans closer to her touch, his lips touching the inside of her palm "I love you Macy." he says as his eyes slowly fall closed. She pulls one of her hands from his cheek and gently nudges his shoulder, "Harry!" she hears the panic in her own voice as she says his name, holding her breath she waits for something, anything, but he remains motionless, she can feel his breath on her other hand, his lips still inches away from her palm, but it's getting slower, "No, wake up!" she says, once again shaking his injured shoulder, this time she tries a little harder, her fear of hurting him overtaken by her need to see his eyes, "Wake up!" she screams, the tears burning the inside of her eyelids as she tries as hard as she can to keep her focus on him, even though she knows she's losing this battle.

"Macy!" Mel's voice is echoing in the attic from somewhere below, she hears her and Maggie walking upstairs, their hurried steps on the stairs, she wipes her eyes and pulls her other hand from under Harry's cheek.

"Mel, Maggie, where's Jada?" she asks them as soon as they walk in the room, Mel shakes her head, a look of despair on her eyes, "We couldn't find Jada, I'm afraid the darklighter might have got to her." She says, she closes her eyes and turns her eyes to Harry "What's going on?" she asks, "He's not dead is he?" Maggie is already by her side, sitting next to Macy on the coffee table, her hand reaching for Harry's on the sheet, Macy notices how her sister is slightly trembling, a gentle rocking back and forth as she tries to lean closer to Harry.

"No, but his breathing's slower." She looks away from Harry, away from Maggie, trying to block out the small gasp from her little sister's mouth as she comes to the same realization she came, "I can't get it to work!" she says to Mel, her sister crosses the space between them and wraps her arms around her shoulders, Macy buries her head on her sister's shoulder, "I can't make it work" she murmurs again.

"Oh Macy.

She pulls back from her sister's arms and wipes the tears that fell from her eyes, "We need to find Jada, she'll know." She says trying to get up, Mel shakes her head, "No" she says, Macy tries to protest, "Macy, stay here," she says, the hand on her shoulder insistent, keeping her firmly at her spot.

"Mel I can't just sit around!" she says, how could Mel not realize it, she needed to do something, sitting here, watching Harry waste away on the couch was slowly killing her as well.

Mel puts both hands on her shoulders holding her tightly, "Macy! listen to me! If this is the end, do you really want to be away?" she says, Macy looks up, she sees the sadness in her sister's eyes, she knows that look, she was able to say goodbye to Niko both times, she knew that it would be so much worse if she hadn't, and now here was Mel, giving her the chance to do the same. Just in case.

"No" she says, realizing that even if this is the end, she feels a shiver down her spine at the thought, she wants to be there, she wants to have whatever she can, even if all they would have is holding his hand while he dies. Mel's grip on her shoulders softens, "Exactly. Maggie and I will try and scry for Jada, again." Macy nods, she looks at Harry he's seems to be stable for now, but she's scared.

"The tracking spell Harry found, I added it in the book." She says not taking her eyes from him, she doesn't know why but the thought of losing him was suffocating her, admitting it to her sisters though was so exhilarating.

"Great, we'll use that too," Mel nods to Maggie who stands up her hand leaves Harry's he doesn't seem to realize the difference, Maggie walks out of the attic, silent, her steps heavier, Mel follows, she pauses at the door, "If." She bites her lip, Macy understands what she wants to say and looks at her sister, "Call us." She doesn't say anything, she can't really form words right about now, so she just nods, Mel leaves the attic, Macy waiting till her steps at the stairs stop before she turns to Harry.

"Why couldn't it work?" she wonders, tears filling her eyes again, she had tried so many times, again and again, following what he told her "Why the hell it couldn't work." Her tears start rolling down her cheeks again, her vision getting a little blurry "Please, please work." She says as she places her hands over his wound again, hoping, praying that some miracle will happen this time, that maybe this time she will finally see the healing light from her hands but nothing happens again, her hands move to his face, she is fighting a losing battle, she finally realized it, she waited and waited until it was too late, and now, now that she knew that he loved her, now all she could do was stand back and watch him die.

"Wake up." She begs, Macy wants to see his eyes, if that's all they have she wants to look at his eyes one last time, "Wake up!" she calls again, this time stronger, she cups his face, her fingers pressing his cheek but he doesn't seem to move, "Please don't die" a sob is chocking her, she realizes something, right now as she's sitting next to him on the floor, her knees hurting from kneeling on the wooden floor, her hands holding his face, she realizes she's never felt that way, she lost Galvin a few months ago and back then she had thought that was unbearable, she thoughts she wouldn't be able to move on, but right now, right now she'd take that pain a hundred times over. The pain she's feeling right now rivals the one she felt when her father died. "I can't lose you too." She chokes out between sobs, her tears are blurring her vision and she removes her hands from Harry's face and buries her face in them.

As her tears start rolling down her cheeks and on her hands she sees a light flowing in her veins, she feels the same warmth when she switched powers with Harry on her chest and head again. "What?" she pulls her hands away and looks at her palms, it's almost like the light flowing in her veins is lighting up her hand from the inside, and it hits her, in this moment she realizes, she had tried to deny her feelings for Harry for so long that she ended up repressing his powers as well, his powers which were triggered by loyalty, devotion and love to his charges.

Her mother had written it in the book, the whitelighters are embodiment of good, a form of guardian angels, her feelings were confused before, she didn't want to admit her true feelings, or their intensity, but right now it is starring at her in the face.

She puts her hands on his wound, the light from her veins seems to be pouring out of her skin "Oh, hang on Harry." She says a smile forming on her lips through her tears. She sees the blackening skin on his wound to slowly turn to pink, blood flowing back to the dead and dying area, the wound slowly closing.

Her hands were shaking, she couldn't take her eyes away from his injury she hears him gasp and he moves "What?" he murmurs, she looks at him looking around his eyes are still a little hazy, "It worked!" she says. Harry turns to her, his eyes clearing "You found it." He said with a smile on his lips, Macy throws her arms around him the best she can burying her face on his shoulder, "Never scare me like that again!" she says, her voice muffled by his skin, she feels his arms wrapping around her, one arm around her shaking shoulders the other around her waist.

Her body is laying over his, his skin is still a little warm to the touch but it feels much cooler than before. She feels him burying his face on her neck, "I'm sorry." He says, his lips barely touching her neck as he speaks. They stay hugging tightly for a while, it wasn't that comfortable, Macy is feeling her sides pulling, but she doesn't find it in her to pull back.

It's Harry who pulls back first, his hand moves from around her shoulders to her arm, she doesn't want to let go, not really, but she pulls back sitting next to him on the couch, there's not much space but he pulls to the side a little, she can feel what he wants to tell her, the way that his eyes are looking anywhere but her tells her that much.

"About what I said before." He starts, Macy raises her hand, "Don't." she says, her eyes closed, her hands on her lap are itching, she pulls his hand in hers, she bites her lip, "I know we agreed to pretend I never heard your thoughts, and I tried, I did, but I can't do it anymore." She looks down at their hands, knowing full well that if she looks at him she's not going to be able to tell him what she wants, what she needs to tell him.

"And I can't pretend I didn't hear you. Because I did" she remembers the feeling of despair that took over her senses before when she thought she was losing him, "And I can't hide behind my finger any longer," she manages to look at Harry, his eyes are wide and he looks at her with a look in his eyes that could only be described with disbelief, "Or pretend nothing is going on" She feels bold for a moment so she removes one of her hands and gently cups his cheek, "Because it is." He leans into her touch, his eyes close for a second, when he opens them again he seems hopeful, it's a different look, she doesn't remember the last time she saw his eyes shine like that, maybe never. Macy takes a deep breath realizing she could and would gladly get lost in those eyes, "And I love you."

A large smile breaks on his lips, his right hand raises and grips her wrist, his other hand tightening his hold on hers. "I was going to say, I stand by it." He says.

"Oh" Macy says shocked, she expected him to apologize, maybe even tell her to forget what he said, but she did not plan for that, she had planned everything else, other than him actually standing by his words, Macy lowers her head, a nervous giggle leaving her lips, "I made a fool of myself didn't I?" she asks him looking at him, he smiles even wider, he lets go of her wrist and he cups her cheek in return, his hand feels warm against her skin and it takes all she has not to lean into the touch, not to close her eyes and just forget about the rest of the world but she knows she can't "No, you didn't" she leans down to hug him again, his hands wrapping around her shoulders and waist again, "I did, but thank you for being nice." Macy kisses his cheek, she hears him gasping a little and when she pulls back she can see the tops of his ears being almost as red as the couch underneath.

A noise from somewhere downstairs pulls her out of this little moment the two of them had, she shakes her head, "Wait a minute I need to call Maggie and Mel." She barely manages to stand up from the couch before her sisters barge in the attic "Macy!" Mel stops abruptly, Maggie crashing on her behind her, looking around to find what made her sister to stop so abruptly "Harry!" she calls and runs to Harry who had managed to sit up a little before Maggie crashed on him.

Mel smiles and wraps Macy in a quick hug, "Told you, you'd work it out." She whispers to her ear, Macy smiles and pulls back, "Thank you." Mel pulls back too and the two of them turn around Mel shakes her head smiling, "Maggie you're gonna suffocate him!" she says, Maggie pulls back, "Sorry Har" she says softly before she stands up from the couch, Macy is standing back as her sister walks closer to Harry, Mel throws her arms around his shoulders more carefully than Maggie "You bled all over our couch Greenwood." She says a smirk on her lips, "But seeing that you almost died, I'll let it slide."

It makes Harry laugh, "Thank you Melanie." He says, a large joyful smile on his face, Macy walks closer to the three of them, "What did you guys came to tell me?" she asks Mel who for a moment seemed confused, "Oh, we found Jada!" she says.

"We should switch powers again so you can go with your sisters." Harry says sitting up, Macy was ready to protest, she really didn't want to leave him alone, "No, no need, we can handle it." Mel says before she could speak, Macy gives her a thankful smile. "It's not that far away." Harry seems like he wants to protest but he stops, "Be careful!" he tells them, Mel ruffles his hair teasingly while Maggie gives him one last quick hug before the two of them ran out the door.

"Call if you need help." Macy yells at them, Mel's 'Will do' echoing through the house as she and Maggie are running down the stairs.

She turns her attention back to Harry who's still sitting up on the couch, she realizes that he's still not wearing a shirt, but he doesn't seem to mind it that much, "Macy?" he asks, his smile falling a little, Macy shakes her head, "Sorry, um, you should have a shower, and change clothes" she says pointing at his bare chest. Harry looks down, the smile falling, "Ah, yes, that would good."

"It's quite chilly up here, last thing we need is you catching a cold." He looks up and smiles, "Of course, can I have my powers back first?" Macy smiles and walks back to the couch, for a moment she considers sitting on the coffee table, but his hand reaches for hers and she decides the hell with it. She sits down on the couch next to him their hands finding one another instantly, she decides she likes this, the feeling of his hand in hers, it's something she could gladly get used to. "Sure." She says smiling _"What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. Let our powers cross the line. I offer up my gift to share, switch our powers through the air."_ She feels a gold feeling spreading all the way through her head, her chest, flowing into her veins and she knows that their powers have switched, it's interesting, his powers felt warm, almost like being under the summer sun, but hers felt cold, cooling, like the shade you need after spending all day in the sun, it was nice, in a sense they were complimentary "There!"

"Good."

XXXX

Macy couldn't sleep all night, Harry was sleeping soundlessly next to her in the bed, after they switched their powers back he barely managed to get himself to the bathroom and once there, he fell asleep in the bathtub. She managed to get him dressed, never before more thankful for her powers than then, and move him to her room safely without cracking his scull open, but she couldn't sleep.

Mel and Maggie returned with Jada who was thankfully unharmed, the darklighter vanquished, she wasn't really in the mood to know more about it but from what she had gathered this was nothing more than a reckoning between Jada's father and that darklighter. She doesn't push for more, she doesn't want to and Jada seems to guilt stricken to really say anything more.

She wasn't planning on spending the whole night looking at him, but the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took was mesmerizing to her and she barely even realized when the night passed. She looks down next to her where Harry is stirring, "Morning." She tells him smiling, he looks around a little disoriented, it takes him a moment to figure out where he was, Macy sees the hand clutching the covers tightly and then relaxing as soon as he realizes where he is. He turns and looks at her, his eyes are a little hazy from sleep, but the smile on his lips is big and happy and it makes her feel safe. "Hey, when did I get in your bedroom?" he asks, Macy chuckles, "You fell asleep in the bathtub and I thought it would be cruel to move you in the attic, it's quite chilly, and Jada took the spare room so." She tells him, he nods and lies back down on the pillows, "Thank you." He says, she can see his left hand twitching, she imagines he feels just as awkward laying on her bed as she does, but she remembers last night, how comfortable it felt to be in his arms, how natural and organic it felt, she pulls closer, her hand clutching his, "How are you feeling?" she asks him.

"Much better." Harry says smiling, his hand leaves hers and wraps around her shoulders pulling her a little closer, she's surprised by his move, usually Harry is even less comfortable with making the first move, or at least he was with her, "You were right, nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't fix."

"Good." She says, she feels awfully brave and the scent of pine and earl gray tea that seems to linger on his skin is intoxicating and for a moment she wonders if she'll ever be able to ignore it again. She leans her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, she can feel his heart beating strongly under his shirt, this all feels so comfortable, so homey, it feels like everything she's wanted. 'It feels like what I imagined being in a relationship was' she thought with a stab of guilt. She realized now, a few months after the pain of Galvin's death has passed that even though she loved him, even though he might have loved her too, even though he was and always will be her first love he wasn't right for her, what they had was not healthy.

She sees it now, now as she's half laying half sitting on her bed, Harry's arm around her shoulders his head leaning on her head, her breath in sync with his; she realizes she never has felt this way before. It also hits her out of nowhere; she doesn't want this to end, no matter what, this feeling. Thinking back she never felt like staying up all night watching Galvin, even when she temporarily brought him back she had busied herself with other things while he slept, took a bath, changed, she checked up on her sisters and Harry, but last night she almost couldn't take her eyes off of him. She feels a rush of madness, just perfect clear madness. "Harry would it be awfully forward of me to," she stops, a knot rising in her throat.

"To?" he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes, it makes her wonder if he's maybe feeling the same way she is, it makes her wonder for a moment, she knows his last relationship ended almost as disastrously as hers, if not worse, "To ask you to stay." She feels his hand on her shoulder twitching a little, he looks like he's trying not to smile, or scream, she isn't sure. "Ask me." He says breathlessly.

"Stay?" she sits up a little straighter her hands on his shoulders, fingers itching towards his neck "Please?"

"For as long as you want me." He says, a large smile on his lips, she laughs taking a deep breath, this wend much better than she expected, she throws her arms around his shoulders, Harry leans forward pulling her tightly against him. She buries her face on his neck; she decides she's probably never going to be bored of the scent of his skin, "I hope you didn't have plans for the rest of your life." She whispers, her lips on the skin on his neck, she sees Goosebumps on his skin and smiles, "I can cancel them." He says his voice soft, Macy pulls back, she doesn't know how she ended up on his lap but he doesn't seem to mind and frankly she doesn't either.

"You should."

"I will, my love"


End file.
